ITALIAN PROVERB

For those of you who are not Italian, an important Italian Proverb:

Esse nufesso qui dice male di macaruni. - He who speaks badly of Macaroni is a fool.

And for those of you who ARE:

YOU KNOW YOU'RE ITALIAN WHEN...
1. - You're 5'4", can bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a day, but you still cry when your mother yells at you.

- You’ve been hit by a nun.

- You share a bathroom with your 5 brothers, have no money, but drive a $45,000 Camaro or Firebird.

- Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant and travel agent are all blood relatives.

- You consider dunking a cannoli in an espresso a nutritious breakfast.

- Your 2 best friends are your cousin and your brother-in-law's brother-in-law.

- Despite the hair on your back, you still try to impress the ladies by wearing your tank top to the beach.

- At least 5 of your cousins live on your street.

- At least 5 of your cousins are named after your grandfather.

- A high school diploma and 1 year of Community College has earned you the title of "professor" among your aunts.

- You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet hall owners.

- If someone in your family grows beyond 5'9", it is presumed his mother had an affair.

- There were more than 28 people in your bridal party.

- You netted more than $50,000 on your first communion.

- Meatballs have always been present at Thanksgiving dinner.

- 30 years after immigrating, your parents still say "Pronto" when answering the phone.

- You have ever been in a fight defending Sly Stallone's thespian greatness.

- Somewhere on your parents' property, there is a plastic Madonna.

- When you were growing up you thought all wine was red and it all came in gallon jugs.

- You have at least one sister that went to Beauty School.

- Your grandfather had a fig tree.

- It is impossible for you to talk with your hands in your pockets.

- Have been to a funeral where talk of the deceased is, "He shoulda kept his big yap shut."